- listen to whom? -

22 Nov 2009 1126

I'm hating myself.

I don't know what to say.

Part of my heart says:
Hey miao, don't force yourself too much. You're a patient. Patient needs more rest. I need to store up energy so that I'll be at the best to receive treatment. And then I'll heal faster. STPM is not everything. Health is more important. Even if I failed STPM, it doesn't mean that I will fail my entire life! And if you don't rest more you won't have the energy to complete the questions.

Another part of my heart says:
Come on, go study! Stop that lousy thought!!! You're finding excuses for yourself. Everyone will only focus on your result, not your health condition. When you get bad results, people will only say, "Haha pade muko! That's what you'll get if you don't study~!" People won't remember that you're sick at that time. Besides, if you don't study now, it's no use if you got energy because you can't answer the questions. The energy will be wasted when you're only forced to stare at the questions stupidly. And what can you do if you don't study now. You can't have a good job in the future.

So which one should I listen to?

I would like to study, so that I won't be disappointed when result is released.

I don't wanna study, because I don't want to be disappointed to realize that I'm stupid--after studying so much I still fail STPM.